Do we have the opportunity of choosing our destiny before we are born? Who our friends will be? Who our siblings are or at most our parents? Do you choose to be poor or rich and wealthy? Choose to live long or die prematurely? Choose to be sickly always or healthy? Choose your height, skin colour, nationality, colleagues, schoolmates etc. These and so many other questions I crave answers for, but from whom? where? and how ? will I get these answers?
The quest for knowledge and answers of why I am like this? Why I get discriminated against? Why I feel so ashamed of what I have? why do I feel the urge to commit suicide? why do I feel death is better than my pains? Why I get blamed for something I was born with, Why I have sickle cell? All these ‘WHYS’ has led me to many places, books, research, and undoubtedly both pure and deceptive people. Apparently, most times it stops halfway not because I want it to, but my health limitations tend to overpower my physical abilities and the answer is never close by. This I know is very frustrating, but I need answers! It makes me question my existence, my creator and even my faith in most cases. But my mission is strong! My mental capabilities, my gift is undisputedly greater than the trials that Life has given me. Life is indeed deep!
However, in my opinion, we really do not choose these things and predicaments before we are born. We are only given choices after we are born into this world. Choices that have already been predestined. So it makes me wonder, if my beginning and end is already designed and sealed, then what choice do I have in all this to change my destiny if I decide to? How do I decide my own fate if no matter what I do I will end the same exact way, I was predestined to end?
It brings me to human nature.. No matter what you do, how you try and put so much effort, only those who were chosen to be in your life and accept you, that will act that purpose! We all have a role to play in the life of one another. Good or Evil, Real or Fake, Strong or Weak we have been chosen for a purpose. The point is, you can never do what you were not assigned, destined or given the opportunity to do by your creator!
So if you are a Sickle cell warrior, know you are chosen by your creator to be that way, already designed to feel all that pain, weakness, agony and crisis! Not to punish you but for you to understand the meaning of pure love, sacrifice, strength, peace and beauty in your creation. For only in that, can you really appreciate the true meaning of passing through the furnace to define free and pure beauty? Beauty Is st it’s best when it radiates strength from your weakness. Although we might choose to blame our pains on our parent’s mistakes and Ignorance!
For those already born, I say I am sorry, do not give up! For those already gone, Adieu fallen warriors, you have my total respect and loyalty. To those yet to be born I say the battle is rough, cold and difficult. I hope you don’t embark on it! However, I will do my best to create awareness so you can reroute this journey.I owe you my voice and it must be heard!
I LOVE YOU.